The Answer Is No!

Q: Do we have to __________?

A: Short answer, no! 

Whether it’s a couple I’m working with or someone in casual conversation who I tell I’m a wedding planner, they inevitably ask a question that starts with “do we have to?” And without hesitation or second thought, my answer is no! Even when the question gets followed up with...

But my so-and-so said?

But it’s a tradition?

But everyone else did?

But people will expect it?

Still, no. What it comes down to it, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. 

The thing to remember is that this is your day. Repeat: YOUR day. This is the time for you and your partner to picture your perfect wedding. The kind of day that makes you truly happy and excited. And with every decision, hold to that vision. If you want a big, traditional wedding with all the bells and whistles, go for it! If you want to throw tradition out the window, do you! The most important thing is to stop listening to what your parents want, what your friends want, what society wants, and do what you want. I am giving you full permission to do it your way—and say no to the rest.

Now, I’m not saying to turn into a bridezilla/groomzilla, stomping around crushing everyone by screaming no at any suggestion that comes your way (what a visual, eh?). All that will do is lead to a lot of hurt feelings. It’s important to remember that every suggestion is coming with love so be kind in your decline!

For those of you screaming at the screen that it’s not that I easy—I hear you! But don’t lose sight of the fact that the day is about celebrating you coming together as a couple. So, instead of getting wrapped up in the wedding hype and falling victim to thinking you need to do it all, or feeling pressured by all of the advice coming your way, just keep asking yourself “what truly matters to me?”

If something doesn’t, you know what to do.